yeah, sometimes I think I might suffer from slight paranoia

the 90's the age of one hit wonders.
but at least we had wonders back then, everything is so one week mob mentality now...
some nostalgia for your weekday
Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta



i had visions, i was in them
i was looking into the mirror
to see a little bit clearer
rottenness and evil in me
fingertips have memories
mine can't forget the curves of your body
and when i feel a bit naughty
i run it up the flagpole and see who salutes
(but no one ever does)
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding
the cretins cloning and feeding
and i don't even own a tv
put me in the hospital for nerves
and then they had to commit me
you told them all i was crazy
they cut off my legs now i'm an amputee, god damn you
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and it's a sin to live so well
i wanna publish zines
and rage against machines
i wanna pierce my tongue
it doesn't hurt, it feels fine
the trivial sublime
i'd like to turn off time
and kill my mind
you kill my mind
paranoia paranoia
everybody's coming to get me
just say you never met me
i'm going underground with the moles
hear the voices in my head
i swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
but if you're bored then you're boring
the agony and the irony, they're killing me
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and it's a sin to live so well

dear lord, thanks for cookies.

the adventure begins

dear lord, thanks for cookies.
& to the person who 1st made them.




have a nice day.

everything blue

"in the end everything is blue."
I made a new song today, no creepy kids this time.

everything blue (in the end everything is blue) - marten hernandez
Your, color fades.
Dying, with each new day.
Soon, you will change.
Bleach
Bleached to grey.

Cause here.
Everything is blue.
Here.
Everything is you.

So I'll try, to find me.
Could you try, to be you.
Be you.

Cause here.
Everything is blue.
Here.
Everything is you.

some nickel creek for your friday

The Fox - Nickel Creek






just a really quick sketch I did for the song.


for some reason this song makes me feel happy...
I dont know why, maybe it's the mandolin, it has a nice/happyish sound.
have a good weekend.

monday

there's something about mondays that I just hate.
maybe its the fact that  its the beginning of a new week, a new week to be filled with nothing.
is it fear that drives this hate?
fear?
im I afraid of the nothingness that encompasses my daily life?
we exist to feel joy.
how does one find that joy?
read alot?
get smart?
make $$?
hmmm,
the thought "get away" comes to mind.
sounds like good advice.
but were would I go.
with all my trivial duties and obligations, can I ever get away?
I still find comfort in god, maybe I can stay with him fora awhile.
have an address?
i'd like to visit.
the pursuit of human life is to find joy/contentment.
energy cannot be produced with out both subject/object.
some sort of being to reciprocate.
i being human therefor need should reciporcae with other humans.
but for what?
is the whole point of life, death.
then what is the meaning of death?
to live?
i feel like a lab rat in a maze.
I know that for some reason i've been put inside of these zigg zaging walls.
so I could try and find the solution or just , not.
sometimes I feel like the rat that just does not.
sure I could attempt to find what ever the purpose of the maze is only to find the solution, and be brought back to the start, or just never start therefor never start the restart.
hmm.
its an interesting thing, living in this information age.
if you wanted to you could learn everything about anything.
but we seem to choose not to .
I could have the truth of all the secrets of the world, and not care.
well, im gonna lay down now, and stare at my wall for a bit.


merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
happy hunting!

a warm place

last week of my first class, woot.
I also have my final exam due on thursday, unwoot.
I read this article on shading/tints and have been experimenting with that.
This pic came out kinda differently then I had originally started, (maybe I'll post that up , if I finish it)
I still like it though, I thought this song/instrumental fit this pic well
A Warm Place - Nine Inch Nails

waltzing matilda

I was listen to music and heard a song I've never heard before.
I put it on repeat and drew this pic.
The song is below (2x), And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda - Pogues cover, originally by Eric Bogle

The Pogues - And The band played waltzing matilda

When I was a young man I carried my pack
And I lived the free life of a rover
From the Murrays green basin to the dusty outback
I waltzed my Matilda all over
Then in nineteen fifteen my country said Son
It's time to stop rambling 'cause there's work to be done
So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun
And they sent me away to the war
And the band played Waltzing Matilda
As we sailed away from the quay
And amidst all the tears and the shouts and the cheers
We sailed off to Gallipoli

How well I remember that terrible day
How the blood stained the sand and the water
And how in that hell that they called Suvla Bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter
Johnny Turk he was ready, he primed himself well
He chased us with bullets, he rained us with shells
And in five minutes flat he'd blown us all to hell
Nearly blew us right back to Australia
But the band played Waltzing Matilda
As we stopped to bury our slain
We buried ours and the Turks buried theirs
Then we started all over again

Now those that were left, well we tried to survive
In a mad world of blood, death and fire
And for ten weary weeks I kept myself alive
But around me the corpses piled higher
Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over tit
And when I woke up in my hospital bed
And saw what it had done, I wished I was dead
Never knew there were worse things than dying
For no more I'll go waltzing Matilda
All around the green bush far and near
For to hump tent and pegs, a man needs two legs
No more waltzing Matilda for me

So they collected the cripples, the wounded, the maimed
And they shipped us back home to Australia
The armless, the legless, the blind, the insane
Those proud wounded heroes of Suvla
And as our ship pulled into Circular Quay
I looked at the place where my legs used to be
And thank Christ there was nobody waiting for me
To grieve and to mourn and to pity
And the band played Waltzing Matilda
As they carried us down the gangway
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared
Then turned all their faces away

And now every April I sit on my porch
And I watch the parade pass before me
And I watch my old comrades, how proudly they march
Reliving old dreams of past glory
And the old men march slowly, all bent, stiff and sore
The forgotten heroes from a forgotten war
And the young people ask, "What are they marching for?"
And I ask myself the same question
And the band plays Waltzing Matilda
And the old men answer to the call
But year after year their numbers get fewer
Some day no one will march there at all

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
Who'll come a waltzing Matilda with me
And their ghosts may be heard as you pass the Billabong
Who'll come-a-waltzing Matilda with me?

day1

So i didnt get any sleep last night, and today I felt like crap, which may have been caused by the fact that I was at church all day.
but anyway.
The first thing I noticed was that my hearing had decreased.
This happened last week but I thought maybe I had eaten something strange the day before.
So my hearing has decreased, but more than that all the sounds coming in threw my right ear have this tin can echoing sound, its kinda annoying.
I have yet to see anything, but I was hearing voices when I would close my eyes.
Also I was really uncoordinated, but still able to drive safely.
hmm I dont think the day two is gonna work cause I fell asleep as soon as I got home,  which reminds me.
I need some food.

this will make the previous post make sense.

curtains.

King: One day lad. All this will be yours.
Prince: What? The curtains?

cow

i was listening to some music and this song came up,
so i started drawing. (above) (done by me)
(below)song (not done by me)


"No Lies, Just Love" - Bright Eyes, from the album " Don't Be Frightened Of Turning The Page"



It was in the march of the winter I turned 17
that I bought those pills
I thought I would need
and I wrote a letter to my family
said it's not your fault
and you've been good to me
just lately I've been feeling
like I don't belong
like the ground is not mine to walk upon
and I've heard that music
echo through the house
where my grandmother drank
by herself
and I sat watching a flower
as it was withering
I was embarrassed by it's honesty
so I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face
not this fucking wreck
that's taken it's place

so please forgive what I have done
no you can't stay mad at the setting sun
cause we all get tired I mean eventually
and there's nothing left to do but sleep

but spring came bearing sunlight
those persuasive rays
so I gave myself a few more days
my salvation it came, quite suddenly
when Justin spoke very plainly
he said "Of course it's your decision,
but just so you know,
if you decide to leave,
soon I will follow"

I wrote this for a baby
who has yet to be born
my brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
cause it's cold out here
and it'll be quite a shock
to breathe this air
to discover loss
so I'd like to make some changes
before you arrive
so when your new eyes meet mine
they won't see no lies
just love.
just love.

I will be pure,
No, no, I know I will be pure.
Like snow- like gold-
like snow- like gold--

o ...yeah...

its friday, i thought it was tuesday.
I dont feel like going to sleep, but I dont want to be awake when everyone else wakes up.
...maybe I could try to stay awake for a few days, see how that goes.
I heard that if you stay awake for 3 days, then you start to hallucinate.
that might be fun.
-----
anyway.
here is a song thats cool, well not really cool.
more like, ......hmm.....

Agathodaimon (which means good spirit, i think these guys are german or finnish, i cant really remember)
Its from their album Chapter 3. which is a really awesome album, imo.
......I wish I could sing like these guys, well this guy.
even his name is freakin awesome, "Vlad", how much more of a badass name can you get.

.....
well, good ay to ya.


Agathodaimon - Past Shadows

Now far I am from you, before my fire alone,
And read again the hours that so silently have gone,
And it seems that eighty years beneath my feet did glide,
That I am old as winter, that maybe you have died.

The shadows of the past swift stream across life's floor
The tale of all times, nothings that now exist no more;
While the wind with clumsy fingers softly fumbles at the blind
And sadly spins the fiber of the story in my mind...

I see you stand before me in a mist that does enfold,
Your eyes are full of tears, and your fingers long and cold;
About my neck caressing your arms you gently ply
And it seems you want to speak to me yet only sigh.

And thus I clasp entranced my all, my world of grace,
And both our lives are joined in that supreme embrace...
Oh, let the voice of memory remain forever dumb,
Forget the joy that was, but that nevermore will come,
 
The shadows of the past swift stream across life's floor
The tale of all times, nothings that now exist no more;
While the wind with clumsy fingers softly fumbles at the blind
And sadly spins the fiber of the story in my mind... 


And thus I clasp entranced my all, my world of grace,
And both our lives are joined in that supreme embrace... 

Forget how after an instant you thrust my arms aside,
For now I'm old and lonely, and maybe you have died.

...and lightning bolts from his arse.

after posting this I remembered a short that I once saw on tv.
here it is.

Credits Roll

i should probably get some sleep,
but im not really tired right now..
hmm... I was thinking the other day, well maybe i've already said this,
but is it strange to not know what you want.
not like, at a restaurant and cant decide between smoked cheddar or pepper  jack.
or want clothes to wear.
but like not knowing what you want out of life.
examp: "I want to ........"
I could fill in survival instincts but....
anyway, maybe i'll find something to fill in the blank.

..///\\\///\\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

so I added another song.
0401,
which is featuring the creepy sounding kid from "credits roll". yey!!
and just a side not I wasnt purposely trying to studder, for some reason it just happened.
o yeah 0401, was the date when I made the backing track, today I added in the vocals and finished mixing.
HQ:

555

I .......
'm hungry.

4110

dear april 1st,
no one likes you.



have a good one.