almost monday

it's almost monday again.

sometimes I wish life wasn't so repetitive.
hmm..... it also really bothers me how sometimes it feels like living in todays world is more about survival than life.

we go to school to learn how to survive.
we work to survive.
we grow old and hang on to life as long as we can.

i hate how money seems to dictate life.
not in a rich vs poor. but just that, everything revolves around money, it's disgusting.

hmmm...... well.




I really hate arguing with my wife.
it's a terrible feeling. like the one thing in life you care about above all else, and instead of being able to enjoy that, you are fighting. usually sleep helps her. which is why iam at the computer while she is asleep. I love my wife, I really do, more than anything, I just hate the conflicts.

......



......
sometimes I wonder how much of our world is really real.
I hear about life after death, and I know there is something, but not really sure what.
what if everything is just some sort of artificial experience that we live out.
all the suffering, happiness, pain.
just some sort of path we were placed on by some unseen force.
some are lucky and are born into an easy life, while others go through the most unimaginable suffering everyday.

I read a news story about a mother who asked her boyfriend to "beat the gay out of her son" The boy died. The boyfriend beat the kid so bad his intestines burst from the inside.
why?
why do we hate each other so much.
......
if I think about everything going on. life seems pretty depressing.


hmmm...
maybe I should get some sleep.

I want people to be happy.
I think that is my goal in life.
I want to take care of my wife.
I want her to be happy.
I want to be the one who makes her smile more than anything else.
I want to sneak onto the roof of my condo complex and stare into the sky.
I want school to be over.
I want to have a family.
I want to be a better man,
a better husband
a better brother
a better friend.

dear god,
hope you are doing okay.
it's a pretty messed up world.
I don't understand how you can stand it.
I hope you can find some small speck of comfort, somehow.
-your concerned citizen,
marten

I guess that's all, I feel a little better, time for sleep, or perhaps skyrim.

Hollow Drums - cloud control

V1:

Everything that I see around me, 
Is sliding, sliding, 
Sliding away. 

Traces of time locks in the pages, 
Belong in the moment,
True life lives,
In Lies. 

I shall wait under the tree,
From day to day,
And hour to hour,
The meeting place. 


Chorus:

Out of home and wet,
It's alright,
Coloured in soft lips,
It's okay,
Ooh oh ohh ...


V2:

Everything that I see around me, 
Is sliding, sliding, 
Sliding away. 

I shall wait under the tree,
From day to day,
And hour to hour,
The meeting place. 

Chorus:

Memory persist,
It's alright,
Curious friendships,
It's okay, 
Hit like hollow drums, 
It's alright,
Watch out here she comes,
It's okay,

Ooh oh ohh...




....
have a  nice day