books and death

I finished the final book in a series of 13 books today.
It took me a couple months to finish reading the entire series.

It's strange the feeling of finishing a book feels a lot like the feeling of someone dying.
the book is over, the final page is flipped. yet you are left wondering and thinking of what else could be.
what else happens. but nothing happens. there is no end. just memories of things that happened before.
All you are left with are memories and "what ifs".

it's a strange unsatisfied feeling.
like a hole cut into your stomach and as much as you try to eat, you never get satisfied.
or as an author put, "It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."
you desire more, but cant have it.
the satisfactions only comes when you allow yourself to face the truth.
that there is no more.
this is it.
this is the end.



















have a nice day

strangeland

I have a hard time understanding alot of things.
people in particular.
i find it interesting how for every action someone takes, it seems like it is expected that someone else responds in some form of action.
ie: some says something funny. instead of thinking about what was said, there seems to be an unwritten rule that whether or not you understood the joke, you must either, let out some sort of chuckle or respond with a joke in return, or maybe just scoff (cause you're the master of jokes)

 if we all want happiness, why is it such an up and down thing?
why can some people be happy, while the person sitting next to them is suffering?
if all people wanted happiness it seems to make sense that it would be something felt throughout the world.
but doesnt seem like it.

i sometimes feel like I live in my own head. i listen to the thoughts of my own and pushout or ignore advice from others.

time for some random/free association writing.
why do teeth, teeth. is there a teeth doctor that can stop my teething teeth.
it's okay though, cause they dont teeth anymore, the donkey next door removed them for me.
"dont try to tie a hot dog to a donky's penis they always told me, but I never listened.
why should i ?
I JACK THE PUMPKIN KING!
-----im tired, but dont want to see.
I feel like sometimes Iam so worried that I might say the wrong things that I end up not saying anything.
maybe I was destined to be a mime. though my mime skills are pretty poor.
maybe a mute dentist,
"mmhmm hmhmmh hmhmmh" says the mute dentist
"hahaha good one" says the socially insceure young male, who had unknowingly just agreed to teeth removal by donkey for the charity for the blind.

maybe I have a hard time expressing my thoughts, cause I have too many thoughts
like trying to give a speech, while stuffing your face with 20 sheets of nori.
or peanut butter. well you couldnt really compare the two equally. maybe 5 spoons of peanut butter.

i want to help people. but i really dont know how.
i want people to be happy.
i want things to be better.

that thought made me sleepy.
and almost made me sneeze.
...
.....
......
sneeze averted.


well i guess thats all for tonight/tomorning

Bloodhound Gang - Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

music to veg out to
enjoy



have a nice day

brain invader

this song has been stuck in my head all day.



Cold Bread by Johnny Flynn

Well I'm sure you're near, and I can almost smell you,
But the winds are up at the walls again.
I can hear you coming-Heaven helped you coming-
I believe in heaven it's a way away.

Did you learn just how I loved you?
Did you see how far I've been?
Would you meet me in an hour?
I could tell you what I've seen... what I've seen

Cold Bread... Cold Bread... we had.

Put your wine in water pull your chips back in
I saw you crawl like a crab across black friar's bridge
Suffer naught to fate, hit the homeward road,
I'm a bowling green, I'm a livery boy

Have a heart that which skips a beat
Oh, come on! Roll along for free
In the middle of the morning.
Swap your drinking nights with me... with me.

Cold Bread... Cold Bread... we had. (x2)

Genius musical interlude.

I can live dying, I can chew my bit,
And play pander to my senses and hijack my head
Eat the rhythm of moving and a rolling and a rattle.
It's a giving instead, it's a well sprung bed,
We can roll around forever,
We can pray for all we've been,
We can knock it hell for leather
We can call it all a dream... all a dream

Cold Bread... Cold Bread... we had. (x2)

have a nice day

thoughts springing from my brain

I find the education system as a whole very confusing.
examples/thoughts:

A student goes through normal schooling, then is given the choice to attend college.
But then the student is not given a choice of the classes he/she wishes to take.
Instead you are given a "path" of mandatory items that must be taken before choice is given.
Why is the system not set up in a simpler cheaper way?
Here is the field of study I want, and here are all the classes that will help me become better at that field of study.
Not,
Here is your field of study, and here is an entire circus full of angry bulls and you must jump from one bull to the next, hoping to avoid impalement and death. and bull feces.

also why is it so expensive, and why aren't teachers paid more or put to higher standards.
If America really cared about Americas future, education would be its number one goal.
Smarter kids = smarter nation = richer nation = more powerful nation


ZOmbies.

I think that the idea of zombies came from people witnessing extreme spiritual/demonic possession and thought "This is quite strange, it's almost as if that person is not human, but still is human."

I was watching a video of these two Swedish women who threw themselves into on coming traffic, got hit, got up, and jumped in front of some more moving cars (+ one 18 wheeler), one broke her legs so she could not get up to try again, but was spitting and cursing at the police officers; while the other got back up, punched a police officer and started running back into traffic. It took 6 people to hold down the woman and put her into an ambulance.

My first thought, "Whoa, that is probably what it would be like if zombies were real."
People that are human, but feel no pain, causing chaos, and are really strong, but I think that comes from the lack of pain.

The whole thing was caught be accident on a British version of cops:






have a nice day.

toast

I recently started listening to "This American Life", at work.
it's probably my favorite thing to do at work.
If you have the time give this a listen.
http://shar.es/S28Zc

if video doesn't show up, follow link

have a nice day.