ain't no rest for the... restless

I woke up at 3 am today.
! Fun.

Trying to go back to sleep buck no luck.
Thought Maybe writing would help me get sleepy..
Disclaimer - I'm writing on my phone, typos may be present.


Dreams.
Last nights dream.
Time: future - near future 20yrsish
Location : earth, maybe same as here
The year 2033 man has created the cure for cancer, aids and most diseases.
It's a protein enzyme called TK.
Essentially it is a vitamin that produces white blood cells.
For years it seems like TK is successful.
To successfull.
Hospitals are empty.
Doctors are having trouble finding work.
People are healthy and happy.
This lasts for 10years.
Then all the sudden people start dying. Like thousands by the day.
The world goes into panic and chaos.
Because of the lack of sickness for the past 10yrs doctors and hospitals have greatly declined.
There aren't enough to help the thousands of sick people.
My wife and I are researchers trying to find the source and cure for the sickness.
We discover that it was the TK that caused the mass epidemic.
The way TK works is; once ingested it starts to produce white blood cells at a rapid rate.
At first this worked out well.
The mass increase in white blood cells seemingly destroyed all harmful pathogens in the body, creating 100% healthy humans.
But the TK had an unforseen side effect.
The after a few years the blood cells created by tk would deteriorate and rot inside the body.
Causing total collapse of the immume system.
This would happen in a matter of minutes once the tk blood cells started rotting.


The dream doesn't reach a conclusion.
We find what caused the epidemic; the TK, which was later coined as the TK-Killer.
But a cure was not found.
Deaths by the thousands from the tk-killer and mass hysteria killed off most of the population by the end of my dream.






----
Tonight's dream.
Time: past, i think.
Location : not actually sure, seemed like China.
Me: high priest to the emperor.
Emperor : 5yr old boy.
This dream i follow the emperor of a large Kingdom as he goes about his day.
My duties are ; watch him play at the beach, oversee his meals, watch him play in the mountains.
Generally just make sure he is safe.
Things seem fine till one day the boy has a sudden interest in death.
He is playing with another boy near a lake, they are jumping from large rock to large rock.
The other boy slips, falls, and hits his head on the rock.
Blood begins to flow.
The emperor seems very interested, he walks up to the hurt boy, stares for a long time, then grabs the boys head and smashes it into the rock.
His new favorite activity is beheading the local population.
HIs main target is kids his age, but also some adults.
He lines up civilians, has them knee down into childs pose, he walks in front of them with a large cleaver and down the line starts chopping off their heads.
He is laughing and smiling the entire time.
I begin to fear for the safety of my own children (i have 3 in the dream)
Slowly i start putting together a plan for escape.
I feel the other priests are becoming suspicious of me. Quickly i must escape.
During a beheading I leave early.
Im followed by some of the emperors guards.
I start to run.
They chase.


- then i wake up.
Sorry another unfinished story. - -

Well i will attempt to sleep again.
Hopefully successfully.

Have a nice day.

chillies

sometimes you hear a song, and it hits you.
and you get the chills.
and you wish you could stay in the beauty of the music forever (or as long as you want, until you get hungry or need to use the restroom)

this song had that effect on me:


The Milk Carton Kids  - Michigan

The clouds move over Pontiac skies
Their silent thunder matches mine
I know this feeling from long ago
I wonder if it's gone now I know

So when she calls don't send her my way
When it hurts you'll know it's the right thing

Michigan's in the rearview now
Keep your hands where I can see them
You took the words right out of my mouth
When you knew that I would need them
What am I supposed to do now
Without you
Without you

It's unannounced like you'd expected
Among broke down break lines and Motown records
And all that's left is a blind reflection
But you know what's coming and you regret it

So when she comes don't send her my way
When it hurts most it's the right thing

Michigan's in the rearview now
Keep your hands where I can see them
You took the words right out of my mouth
When you knew that I would need them
What am I supposed to do now
Without you
Without you

Michigan's in the rearview now
Keep your hands where I can see them
You took the words right out of my mouth
When you knew that I would need them
What am I supposed to do now
Without you
Without you



have a nice day

my words are not my own

-----sporadic thoughts and words------

far off somewhere.
i find myself but not myself.
searching for answers to questions that are not mine.
where did this come from?
not my own thoughts, then from where?
if not my own why carry the burden?
why not discard and be done.
I cannot.
it has become me.
it has changed me.
I am no longer myself, but the very question I was escaping.
no shelter.
no home.
a part of me forever.
----

birds chirp as I sit entrapped in my cave.
sunlight cannot find me.
I hide.
I wait.
crumbs I eat.
never sleeping.
always awake.
fever burns,
melting away my sanity.
am I safe?
am I away?
no light for me.
no light can find me.

-----


don't close your eyes.
this sight which makes you weep.
grip tight, forcefully.
"look"
"see"
I have created beauty
but beauty is frail.
it breaks.
splinters.
aches.
bleeds.
"again"
"look"
can you not see?
what use is eyes if they cannot feel.
grip again.
force again.
bleed.
weep.
starve.
,
my beauty is gone.
all this time.
time has overtaken me.
time is all i have.
time is my prison.
"wait and see"
"wait and see"

---


-----sporadic thoughts and words------



have a nice day.

hello again mr.blog

i think when things get to repetitive/predictable I don't like to sleep.
like going to work everyday. seems more fun to stay up then just going to sleep and working again.

sometimes I feel like I am a very cold person.
I don't really show my feelings/affection/appreciation to almost anyone around me.
sometimes I try.
but a lot of times it takes pre-planned effort to do so.
doesn't happen naturally.
same thing with socializing.
the main reason I don't do much of it is because it simply doesn't occur to me.
I usually need to push my brain into thinking about socializing.
another thing is the way I think.
well that has two parts.
1. I think in yes/no . problem/solution.
I 've noticed that with almost every conversation I have I feel like the only reason I am having that conversation is to find an answer or solution to what ever it is that is being talked about.
Which many times leaves me not talking at all, because
  a. I don't know or have any insight about what is being said.
  b. other people are currently talking about what they think.
  c. opportunity to input has past, while I was thinking about what to say

2. my thoughts are a constant random mess.
it's like Barnum and Bailey meets pokemon, all in an alternate time space continuum thing.where everyone wants to be like everyone else. except for the supreme leader, he gets to be himself.


I was going to draw something, but it's getting late.
good night.
sleep tight.
don't let the billions of microbes bite.





have a nice tomorrow.
well it's already today.
so,
have a nice day

shhhhh

was going to write more.
but don't want to wake the wife.
i miss making music and random videos.
i also would like to try doing comics sometime soon.

but for now i will just post these here and let them marinate.

good night,

have a nice day