"Set sail, set sail, the captain said,"

Devil Ship - Among the oak and ash

Well met, well met, my own true love,
well met, well met, said he.
You've gone away with another, my love,
and thus forsaken me.

I do not cry for my broken heart,
and nor for your broken vow,
it's for your children who ask after you,
that I'm cryin now.

And I am just a house carpenter,
that's all that I wanna be,
but you took from me everything that I had,
and stole across the sea.

But leave it to a messenger,
to only bring bad news,
on the fly he brought me to mine,
none which I could use.

Set sail, set sail, the captain said,
I have what I've come for,
he gave to her the strangest lands
she'd ever seen before.

And I am just a house carpenter,
that's all that I wanna be,
but you took from me everything that I had,
and stole across the sea.

I've heard sad stories all my life,
but none so sad as this,
a mile from shore a storm came forth,
and stirred that black abyss.

The gallant ship spun one time around,
she prayed forgive me please,
too late, too late, said the devil's first mate,
your soul belongs to the seas.

And I am just a house carpenter,
that's all that I wanna be,
but you took from me everything that I had,
and stole across the sea.

Now, I'm not a man of many words,
or one of great discern,
there are many lessons that we are taught
and few that we will learn.

What I can say without regret,
to keep you safe from wrath,
content yourself with your circumstance,
be happy with the life you have.

monday thoughts

I've been reading alot of r/depression and r/offmychest recently.
In alot of ways the things I read there remind me alot of myself when I was younger.
I always had a feel I was depressed growing up, but I think I just thought it was normal to feel indifferent and uninterested in life.
I never considered self harm or suicide, but life seemed to be more effort to sustain than to not.
I know I felt extremely lonely almost everywhere I was. At home I felt abandoned by my parents who were always busy. I felt out of place among my siblings. The "friends" I had where simply there to avoid the school social stigma of loneliness.
I did care about people. I didn't want people to be hurt. But I didn't care to be with them.
I  remember not wanting to go to sleep at night because that would simply cause a "restart" of another pointless day.
I think I was pretty sure the world would be destroyed before I was old enough to have to take part of it as an adult.

(I'm kinda losing where I was going with this. It's been a couple minutes since I started writing, and I think the feelings I had are now starting to pass.)

Anyway. I guess in summary or something. Life sometimes sucks. Or it just doesn't seem to have a point. And I guess there are other people that also feel this way.

I guess thinking about my younger-self and the people I have been reading about makes me feel sad. I wish people didn't have to suffer, both in hardships and in terms of nothing making sense. But I guess it's a part of life or something. Anyway, the feeling has now passed, and I no longer have the desire to write about this.

If this happens to be read by someone having a not so great day I hope that you can find something even if it is just a small something to hold on to.

Here is a video featuring harry potter and the guy that got killed in a bowling alley for not wanting to share his milkshake (I think... that scene still confuses me). Anyway I found this pretty entertaining:


Swiss army man:

"Fun times in Babylon that's what I'm counting on"

Fun times in Babylon
That's what I'm counting on
Before the dam goes up at the foot of the sea
Before the new wing of the prison ribbon ceremony
Before the star of the morning comes looking for me

I would like to abuse my lungs
Smoke everything in sight with every girl I've ever loved
Ride around the wreckage on a horse knee-deep in blood
Look out Hollywood, here I come

Fun times in Babylon
Momma they've just begun
Before they put me to work in a government camp
Before they do my face up like a corpse and say get up and dance
Before the beast comes looking for last year's rent

I would like to abuse my lungs
Smoke everything in sight with every girl I've ever loved
Ride around my wreckage on a horse knee-deep in mud
Look out Hollywood, here I come
Look out Hollywood, here I come
Look out Hollywood, here I come

warm taste of victory.

sniffles
snot rolling down the inside of my nostrils.
inhale to prevent leakage.
again rolling.
inhale intensifies.
inhale to much.
snot oozes into the back of my head.
feel liquid above my mouth.
between cheekbone and jaw.
warm taste of victory.
me 1 - snot 0
a poem of an man with seasonal allergies 

chuckles

chuckles