the big 27

In a few days I will be 27 years old.
I remember being little and thinking that people who were 20 were old.
Then 20 came for me and I felt. "Hmm I dont feel old."
I realize that yes I am getting older, but idk I don't really feel old.
Maybe I am supposed to be more serious. Not laugh at things, never do fun stuff.
That is what I seem to associate with being old. just not enjoying life anymore.
I don't want that.


hmm.

well christmas was fun.
well actually the 2 days after christmas were more fun than christmas itself.
My wife and I both got robes for christmas, and we just kinda slept in and watched netflix and went out to eat. Twas fun.



Everything is tragic, it all just falls apart
But when I look into your eyes, it pieces up my heart
If I only had an answer to put it all to bed
I wish sometimes I could take back every word I've said

I walk back in the night alone, got caught up in my song
Forgot where I was sleeping, none of the lights were on
I heard my mother thinking me right back into my birth
I laughed so loud inside myself, it all began to hurt

So I turned on a picture show, I disappeared the lines
As memories came flooding in, the tears blew up my eyes

I see an elevator, a moment I am above
I look for you or someone who can still remind me of
The tight grip and the sun lick
And the calm weight of all things summer
When it's all here and it's all new
And you're not hungover

Fierce and light and young
Fierce and light and young
When you don't know that you're wrong
Or just how wrong you are

My feet are always heavy as I head toward the door
I thought we'd leave this for ourselves a hundred times before
But I guess we're always leaving even when we look the same
And it eases me somehow to know that even this will change

If you've still got some light in you then go before it's gone
Burn your fire for no witness, it's the only way it's done

Fierce and light and young
Fierce and light and young
Hit the ground and run
Hit the ground and run






have a nice day

love ya

I don't usually post quotes, because it's always difficult to tell if the quote is authentic or not.

example: "Treat your pets right; with dignity and respect. Or they may one day kill you in your sleep." - William Wallace

but I saw this one today and it made me think:
"Happiness is to find a person whom you wish to give and give still more, serve and serve still more, love and love still more. " -smm (a wise guy)

"love you wifey. you're the best" - Marten
"you make me ha-ha-happy"- Simple Jack

"I'm here, I'm here, not heroic but I try"

Iam thinking about getting a twitter so that whenever I get a random thought I can quickly post it before I forget it.

but I might just do that here.
well maybe not. this is already kinda taking along time. hm....

...
--
//
anyway, it's finals week.
just one more project due, THEN I AM FREE, ....till January .....

//
was doing some fb,instagram,twitter,google stalking on some class mates.
feel like a spy.
without an agency.
so a broke spy.
who I guess is not really a spy after all, just some guy getting distracted.
I don't know why I enjoy seeing people from a distance, but not close up in person.
I find it extremely interesting to learn about someone from afar.
guess I am strange.
//
~~line retracted~~~
//
anyway again.
I was listening to this band recently and one of their songs has been in my head for the past few days.
I feel like this song talks about the struggle of every man.
"I have never wanted more, to be your man
And build a house around you
I am just like all the rest of them
Sorry, selfish, trying to improve

I'm here, I'm here, not heroic but I try

I'm here, I'm here, not heroic but I try"

Those lines hit real deep.
Damn.
Men be good to your women.
Try, try, try.






 I am that dickhead in the kitchen
Giving wine to your best girl's glass
I am the amateur pornographer
Unpleasant publisher by hand

Not here, not here, heroic acts of man
Not here, not here, heroic acts of man

I see the stumbling pinstriped trouser
Flecks of sick on an office shoe
Part of the fatty British average
Who lives in the houses around you

Not here, not here, heroic acts of man
Not here, not here, heroic acts of man

Let's all crowd 'round the cowering body
Throw stocky fingers, bricks and stones
Let's promise every girl we marry
We'll always love them when we probably won't

While the knight in shitty armour
Rips the drunk out of her dress
One man tears into another
Hides a coward's heart in a lion's chest

Man, he breeds although he shouldn't
He's breeding just because he comes
Acts the father for a minute
Till the worst instincts return

Not here, not here, heroic acts of man
Not here, not here, heroic acts of man

I have never wanted more, to be your man
And build a house around you
I am just like all the rest of them
Sorry, selfish, trying to improve

I'm here, I'm here, not heroic but I try
I'm here, I'm here, not heroic but I try

project

Final project for my digital music class.
enjoy.

point is

I think my lack of sleep is starting to effect my daily life.

my bones ache and I cant focus.
everything feels cloudy.
I find myself listening to 70-80s sounding ballady  pop music from the 2010s.
I forget to answer texts and email messages.
things are looking grim.




have a nice day