tuesday

good stuff

Courtney Barnett - Full Performance (Live on KEXP)

thoughts

sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be famous.
not super famous, but relatively famous.
as a artist or musician, could be fun.
get free stuff from sponsors.
get to do fun stuff and get paid for it.
make t-shirts

fun fun fun


...all hail Malcolm

"Someday we'll linger in the sun"

Gaelynn Lea - Someday We'll Linger in the Sun




Our love's a complex vintage wine
All rotted leaves and lemon rind
I'd spit you out but now you're mine

We bit the fruit, it seemed a lie
I'll never know which way was right
Now side by side we face the night

And I love you
And I love you

We walked the pier and back again
It was the most scared I've ever been
You held my hand until the end

And I love you
And I love you

Don't tell me we've got time
The subtle thief of life
It slips away when we pay no mind

We pulled the weeds out til the dawn
Nearly too tired to carry on
Someday we'll linger in the sun

And I love you
And I love you


https://gaelynnlea.bandcamp.com/track/someday-well-linger-in-the-sun

Full tiny desk concert:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6oSeODGmoQ

politics done right

need more politial ads like this:

bleep boop

bleep boop doop
don't step'n poop

"scrub scrub scrub till the water's brown"

I've noticed anytime I plan on getting a good night of sleep, it never happens.
Anytime I try to go to sleep early I wake up really early or just cant fall asleep.

Last night:
Went to bed ~9:30pm
Woke up 12:00am
Went back to sleep 5:55am
Woke up 6:15am


new strategy:
Never go to sleep early.
Go to sleep on time or slightly after.


Time
time
time
time

"And the thunder answered back "

I think I already made a post about this, but it happened again.

hello internet my name is Marten.
seems like an easy name. right?
wrong!?!!
it's the most difficult name in the universe.
well not really, but still pretty difficult to properly pronounce apparently.

The other day I met one of my neighbors for the first time. This is how the conversation went.
(Real neighbors name has been changed in this post to protect his identity)

(Neighbor)Hi Neighbor! My name is Scooter. I live a few doors down from you.
(Me) Hi. Marten.
(Scooter) Martian?
(Me) Mar-ten
(Scooter) Mitchem?
(Me) M-A-R-T-E-N
(Scooter) Ah, I see. Marchan. Nice to meet you.

I really think I should go by a different introduction name, so that introductions can move along much smoother.
I need a name.
Something with strong syllables. And less of what ever it is that makes saying the name Marten so confusing.

anyway. happy tuesday
.

Eskimeaux - The Thunder Answered Back



o, how my heart can fly when your smile has good intentions
and "hi" can mean the world to me
i know singing makes you shy when it's in front of me and my friends
but your singing means the world to me
how i tried to keep my cool when we disappointed you
you waxen wing, you foolish thing
and o, how i can still taste your tongue tied stare upon my face
you dirty look, you burning bush
so here i sit, come to rest some weight upon your little chest
you free-for-all, you wrecking ball
so here i stand, next to your bed, to lay waste to your healthy head
you spiderweb, you dance of death
you could even be so cold and leave me wondering where you've gone
you prickly frost, you courage lost
you could even be so mad you'd shake me by the shoulders screaming
you coward, you hummingbird

I screamed out how'd it get this bad?
And the thunder answered back
if you know not what you lack
then you must unturn your back
Your inside is overcast
you are tethered to your past
and it must feel like fucking hell
to be a patchwork of yourself,
a bunch of scraps thrown and sewn around your bones
and though you're alone it's holding you too tightly.
But Who are you? From where do you come?
What do you believe in? Whom do you love?

"no more butter scones for me"

good night. and good dreams.

i hate school.
I really do.
That being said, I do love to learn new things. But I hate the school system of "learning"

I don't understand people who graduate school and say "I wish I was back in school"
why?
why would you wish that?
of all the things you could wish for.
why?
pony? no.
magic rainbow, pot of gold? no.
eagle powers? no.
world peace? no.
just school.

I don't understand.



I am currently taking my first summer class of my college life.
I was looking at my schedule that thought to my self,
"a quiz every day, and an exam every week.
seems a bit excessive."
then I realized that is because the class is only 3 weeks long.
somehow I missed that important detail.

well.
good night.
and good dreams.
wish for nicer things then going back to school.
if not for yourself, do it for me.



Fast Blood - Frightened Rabbit


good night
it's stroke-time
let's get paralysed down both sides
snake hips, red city kiss
and your black eyes roll back
midnight organ fight
yours gives into mine
it's all right

and the fast blood
hurricanes through me
and then it rips my roof away with her fire heads
this is the longest kiss
good night

and now I, I tremble,
because this fumble
has become biblical
I feel like I just died twice
was reborn again
for all our dirty sins

and the fast blood, fast blood, fast blood
hurricanes through me
and then it rips my roof away with her fire heads
this is the longest kiss
good night

good night
and then I fall down
I stumble
and she said, good night

"Set sail, set sail, the captain said,"

Devil Ship - Among the oak and ash

Well met, well met, my own true love,
well met, well met, said he.
You've gone away with another, my love,
and thus forsaken me.

I do not cry for my broken heart,
and nor for your broken vow,
it's for your children who ask after you,
that I'm cryin now.

And I am just a house carpenter,
that's all that I wanna be,
but you took from me everything that I had,
and stole across the sea.

But leave it to a messenger,
to only bring bad news,
on the fly he brought me to mine,
none which I could use.

Set sail, set sail, the captain said,
I have what I've come for,
he gave to her the strangest lands
she'd ever seen before.

And I am just a house carpenter,
that's all that I wanna be,
but you took from me everything that I had,
and stole across the sea.

I've heard sad stories all my life,
but none so sad as this,
a mile from shore a storm came forth,
and stirred that black abyss.

The gallant ship spun one time around,
she prayed forgive me please,
too late, too late, said the devil's first mate,
your soul belongs to the seas.

And I am just a house carpenter,
that's all that I wanna be,
but you took from me everything that I had,
and stole across the sea.

Now, I'm not a man of many words,
or one of great discern,
there are many lessons that we are taught
and few that we will learn.

What I can say without regret,
to keep you safe from wrath,
content yourself with your circumstance,
be happy with the life you have.

monday thoughts

I've been reading alot of r/depression and r/offmychest recently.
In alot of ways the things I read there remind me alot of myself when I was younger.
I always had a feel I was depressed growing up, but I think I just thought it was normal to feel indifferent and uninterested in life.
I never considered self harm or suicide, but life seemed to be more effort to sustain than to not.
I know I felt extremely lonely almost everywhere I was. At home I felt abandoned by my parents who were always busy. I felt out of place among my siblings. The "friends" I had where simply there to avoid the school social stigma of loneliness.
I did care about people. I didn't want people to be hurt. But I didn't care to be with them.
I  remember not wanting to go to sleep at night because that would simply cause a "restart" of another pointless day.
I think I was pretty sure the world would be destroyed before I was old enough to have to take part of it as an adult.

(I'm kinda losing where I was going with this. It's been a couple minutes since I started writing, and I think the feelings I had are now starting to pass.)

Anyway. I guess in summary or something. Life sometimes sucks. Or it just doesn't seem to have a point. And I guess there are other people that also feel this way.

I guess thinking about my younger-self and the people I have been reading about makes me feel sad. I wish people didn't have to suffer, both in hardships and in terms of nothing making sense. But I guess it's a part of life or something. Anyway, the feeling has now passed, and I no longer have the desire to write about this.

If this happens to be read by someone having a not so great day I hope that you can find something even if it is just a small something to hold on to.

Here is a video featuring harry potter and the guy that got killed in a bowling alley for not wanting to share his milkshake (I think... that scene still confuses me). Anyway I found this pretty entertaining:


Swiss army man:

"Fun times in Babylon that's what I'm counting on"

Fun times in Babylon
That's what I'm counting on
Before the dam goes up at the foot of the sea
Before the new wing of the prison ribbon ceremony
Before the star of the morning comes looking for me

I would like to abuse my lungs
Smoke everything in sight with every girl I've ever loved
Ride around the wreckage on a horse knee-deep in blood
Look out Hollywood, here I come

Fun times in Babylon
Momma they've just begun
Before they put me to work in a government camp
Before they do my face up like a corpse and say get up and dance
Before the beast comes looking for last year's rent

I would like to abuse my lungs
Smoke everything in sight with every girl I've ever loved
Ride around my wreckage on a horse knee-deep in mud
Look out Hollywood, here I come
Look out Hollywood, here I come
Look out Hollywood, here I come

warm taste of victory.

sniffles
snot rolling down the inside of my nostrils.
inhale to prevent leakage.
again rolling.
inhale intensifies.
inhale to much.
snot oozes into the back of my head.
feel liquid above my mouth.
between cheekbone and jaw.
warm taste of victory.
me 1 - snot 0
a poem of an man with seasonal allergies 

chuckles

chuckles

take care of the radish when we are gone.

my grandfather past away two days ago.
I don't really know how I feel about it.
I'm not sure if I am more comfortable with death than I had thought.
Or maybe I wasn't that close to him.
I guess it's a combination of the two.
But I don't really feel much about the situation.
On one side, he lived a good long life, died peacefully surrounded by his family.
Sounds like a good way to go.
I feel bad for my grandma because she is now alone. But that's about it.

But I do feel pretty comfortable about death.
We all die. That's for sure.
But also death is not the end. So in that sense, why worry.
The only hard part is the people who are still alive.
You wont be there to take care of them, help them.

My wife and I were kinda joking about death the other day.
We were driving to work, and stopped at a railroad crossing.
The train light came on and the arms went down, but no train came.
The arms went back up, and as I started to proceed forward I made a joke something like: "Well at least we'll both be dead and it will be quick and painless".
We started talking about how we don't have kids that will become orphans or even a dog that someone would need to take care of. We do have a garden, but I think the vegs will live.

We have also talked about if one of us ever get's really sick what would we like the other to do.
Both of us thought it would be better to just die out in nature or somewhere peaceful, then drag on the slow process of death in a hospital. Maybe our views will change later on, who knows.

We live. We die. We live again.
sounds nice.

"mangoes in syrup"

one of my favorite Flying Circus sketches

quick brain / slow brain

quick brain / slow brain

I think similar to different personality types there are different brain processing types.
Or the speed at which something goes from though - idea - action

some brains are like car engines going down the highway. firing off in rapid succession.
smooth like smooth butter.

others are like "old faithful" (that geyser in that one park). it takes awhile, but eventually stuff comes out.
like...... a constipated.... old... person..

I definitely fall into the second category.
some times people will ask "Hey, how's it going?'
normal response: "great thanks"
"how are you"
(chatter chatter)

my response: "well........................................................................................................................................things............................are...................................................................................................good...............I..think............................yeah........................................."
other person: "please let go of my hand now"

I have now trained myself just say "doing good"
but in my head it's like "hmm... am I really doing good..........I wish I had some space to think this through."

There was one time during music class where the professor asked me what bands I like.
Normally, easy question.
but for me I was debating in my head things like:
does he want a modern band?
this is digital music production, maybe he wants the name of an electronic artist?
hmmmm..... what have I been listening to recently??????
knife party, yeah they are good, but do I like them enough to say that out loud????
but they are also not really a "band", he did ask for a band......
hmmm... there is that other band I like, but I don't really know the proper pronunciation of their name.
also only two members, maybe not a "band"
well more like one and a half members, yeah definitely not a band,

(at this point maybe a solid minute or more has past, the professor is standing waiting for an answer, I am standing, but I don't remember why I am also standing, I still haven't given an answer)
(a few more awkward seconds pass)
Prof: "you know what... nevermind. Anyone else have an band they like?"

thanks brain, you really pulled your weight on that one.



anyway just some thoughts.

bonnie prince billy -  i see a darkness



Well, you're my friend, (that's what you told me)
And can you see (what's inside of me)
Many times we've been out drinking
And many times we've shared our thoughts
But did you ever, ever notice, the kind of thoughts I got
Well you know I have a love, a love for everyone I know
And you know I have a drive to live I won't let go
But can you see it's opposition, comes arising up sometimes
That it's dreadful antiposition, comes blacking in my mind

And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And then I see a darkness
And did you know how much I love you
Is a hope that somehow you, you
Can save me from this darkness

Well I hope that someday buddy
We have peace in our lives
Together or apart
Alone or with our wives
And we can stop our whoring
And pull the smiles inside
And light it up forever
And never go to sleep
My best unbeaten brother
This isn't all I see

Oh no, I see a darkness
Oh no, I see a darkness
Oh no, I see a darkness
Oh no, I see a darkness
And did you know how much I love you
Is a hope that somehow you, you
Can save me from this darkness

"The ring in my ears tastes like blood"

julien baker - something


I know you're sleeping by now
I'm still up walking around
The walls of my skull bend backwards
And in like a labyrinth

I knew I was wasting my time
Keep myself awake at night
Whenever I close my eyes
I'm chasing your tail lights

In the dark
In the dark
In the dark

I know you left hours ago
I still haven't moved yet
I knew you were gone months ago
But I can't think of anyone else

I should've said something, something, something
I couldn't find something to say
So I just said nothing, nothing, nothing
Sat and watched you drive away

I just let the parking lot swallow me up
Choking your tires and kicking up dust
Asking aloud why you leavin?
But the pavement won't answer me

I just let the silence swallow me up
The ring in my ears tastes like blood
Asking aloud, "Why you leavin'?"
But the pavement won't answer me

I know I meant nothing, nothing to you
I thought I meant something, something, something
But I just said nothing, said nothing, said nothing
Sat and watched you drive away

I just said nothing, said nothing, said nothing
I can't think of anyone, anyone else
I can't think of anyone, anyone else
I can't think of anyone, anyone else
I won't think of anyone else

"I got a tinfoil hat to keep me from dreaming "

scott dunbar - Tinfoil hat




I'ma tell my eyes not to see no colours 
Gon tell my ears not to take no lovers
Gon keep my head underneath the covers
Keep my eyes on you 
I don't need no others

Throw away all my old letters
Gon sit in the kitchen and trim my feathers 
Got a picture of you to replace the sky
If I lose you in a crowd
I'll sit down and cry

Dee dee dee...dee-a
I said Dee dee dee...

I got a tinfoil hat to keep me from dreaming 
Gonna sip my wine and stare at the ceiling
I'ma gonna keep my smiles in the breadbox
Til you get home
And choke them down with water 
When you leave me all alone

Im gonna tell my eyes not to see no colours 
Gonna tell my ears not to take no lovers 
Gonna keep my head underneath the covers
Ill keep my eyes on you I don't need no others
I throw away all my old letters 
Gonna sit in the kitchen and trim my feathers 
Got a picture of you to replace the sky
If I lose you in a crowd 
I'll lay down
I'll lay down 
I'll lay down 
I'll lay down
I'll lay down 
And I'll die

Dee dee dee...dee-a
I said dee dee...

I don't need 
I don't need 
I don't need 
I don't need 
I don't need no others.

"I’ll be the first in the river and the last to swim"

I sometimes feel like I move slower than the rest of the world.
I constantly find myself wanting to do or say something after the moment to do so has already passed.
Maybe I just process things slower.
I know this effects my social ability. It's one of the reasons I dislike groups larger than 3 people.
It's just too much information happening at once.
It's also the reason I dislike shopping malls and walmart. Too much stuff going on at once.
Sensory overload.

I can hear myself saying, "I should have said that, I should have done this, I forgot to mention this, Why didn't I do that at the time"

anyway just some thoughts






Strand of Oaks - Last to Swim




I lost all my teeth last night
And held them in my hand
Cavity filled and crumbling
It happens more than I understand
Then I understand

So I put them in a velvet poach
Carried them to the flumes
That’s’ where I ‘m meeting you
We used the steam as ropes
And climbed with the hot air

We can see so much clearer
Up here

When all the mosquitoes
Are lying at my window
My kids don’t know how to read
I’m going to write you a letter
Saying all the cities problems
Are coming after me

When the Wyoming Valley caves in
I’ll be the first in the river and the last to swim...

"I look for a fire door. An escape from the drums and barking"

something I wish someone had told me a few years back:
Either go to school or get a job that has advancement opportunities.
But start now.
Right now.
Do something!

Either you will have a degree or (hopefully) be in a decent work position 10yrs down the road.

Currently in a position of neither.
 kinda sucks.

well that's my life. Pretty dang exciting.



Frightened Rabbit - The Woodpile


Far from the electric floor
Removed from the red meat market
I look for a fire door
An escape from the drums and barking
Bereft of all social charms
Struck dumb by the hand of fear
I fall into the corner's arms
The same way that I've done for years

I'm trapped in a collapsing building
Come find me now, where I hide and
We'll speak in our secret tongues
So will you come back to my corner?
Spent too long alone tonight
Would you come brighten my corner?
A lit torch to the woodpile (aye)

Dead wood waits to ignite
There's no spark on a dampened floor
A snapped limb in an unlit pyre
Won't you come and break down this door?

I'm trapped in an abandoned building
Come find me now, where I hide and
We'll speak in our secret tongues
So will you come back to my corner?
Spent too long alone tonight

Would you come brighten my corner?
A lit torch to the woodpile (aye)
Come find me now, where I hide and
We'll speak in our secret tongues


p.s. These guys are on tour. Check em out:
http://frightenedrabbit.com/

cereal thoughts

Is cereal supposed to hurt the roof of your mouth after you eat it?
dry cereal I should explain, no milk.
I always feel like it is ripping the flesh from the ceiling of my mouth.

Maybe cereal is too hard.
Some one should do something about this.

Will vote for 1st candidate to abolish cereal that is too hard.



...
have a nice day

music muesday

Langhorne slim & Jill Andrews - Sea of Love

movie monday

if you like movies you may like this post,
if not, maybe pass on this one.

that day in the middle of the week with the unfortunate nickname.

try not to cry.
try.
try
try.

tuesday tuesday tuesday

turtle joke

Alan Rickman died last week.

In tribute some AR stuff:

Major Tom

RIP Mr.Bowie.
Thank you for your awesome music and Labyrinth.

world class entertainment

humor for your monday


Michael Davis - At Ford's Theater: